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Back on Track

It could have been any midday morning. There was a faint beam of sunlight casting a thin streak across a cluttered room. Clothes and remnants of last night’s takeaway lay strewn across the floor. With nothing in his diary to summon him from his bed, Conor Phillips rolled over, indifferent to the world outside.

Less than a year previously, it was all very different. Up and at it by 6am, Phillips’ breakfast would have been sandwiched between gym and pitch sessions. They all formed part of a productive pre-season that saw him realise the ambition of a lifetime as he lined out for Munster Rugby against Zebre. He had a positive afternoon.

All was good in his world, and he was retained to start the following week against Connacht.

“Now, that was a completely different kettle of fish,” Phillips says of the game at the Sportsground in October 2022. “It was a Friday night in Galway and the crowd were really up for it. I lined up opposite Mack Hansen and he was in flying form. We lost and the night didn’t go well for me.”

He pauses for a brief moment, before delivering the punchline: “I never got picked again.”

Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Billy Stickland

Having had a taste of first-team action, Phillips was desperate for more. He was also keen to right the wrongs of his previous outing and diligently worked on aspects of his game that were highlighted. Yet there was no give. The likes of Andrew Conway, Keith Earls, Simon Zebo, Shane Daly and Calvin Nash were back in full flow and he remained sidelined.

By February, Phillips was informed that he was free to find a new club for the 2023/24 season. It was a sucker punch, exacerbated by the fact that he still had four months to run on his contract.

“You try to give your best out of respect for yourself, and your teammates, but I think it’s only natural that when you’re facing the exit door, the 110% application that’s expected of you will drop off a little. You put on a bit of a show but the reality is that you’ve checked out.

“I started to find myself on the outskirts of some chat, especially coming to the end of the season,” he adds.

What’s the new gear going to be like?

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“It also struck me that pretty much every conversation I was having revolved around rugby, rugby, rugby. I’d play along but would lose trail of it because my mind began to scramble: what else have I to talk about?” 

When his final day as a Munster Rugby player eventually came, Phillips’ confidence was at a low ebb. There were a few expressions of interest from abroad but an ego-bruising campaign left him reluctant to commit. The easiest thing to do was screen the calls and retreat to familiar comforts at home.

It’s been over a year since Phillips’ release, and with it has come many awakenings.  

Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Laszlo Geczo

“I’ve been up and down in myself,” Phillips admits. “I’d definitely say I still have a bit of an identity crisis. I was at a wedding recently and I still found it difficult to say I’m not a Munster Rugby player anymore. It was such a badge of pride – for me, for my mam.

“My mother has always been a massive fan of Munster in her own right, and I knew how much it meant to her to see her son involved. Whenever she popped down to the shops, someone would always ask how I was getting on. Everyone in the area knew me in that context.”

Relinquishing that identity was hard, Phillips confesses. “It even got to the point where I had to mute Munster Rugby on my socials. There were mixed emotions. I found it hard seeing others in the jersey I felt I should be wearing, and on the other hand I was over the moon to see guys I’d known for years getting their just rewards. It messes with your mind a bit. I suppose you could say it felt like a break-up, and it wasn’t nice.”

While his local friends rallied around him, ironically Phillips felt simultaneously isolated. On a daily basis the sting of change would give him another jolt. Where once everyone wanted a piece of him, now it was more common for them to turn up an earlier aisle and avoid an awkward interaction. It was a difficult pill to swallow.

In need of a clean break, the idea of being a small fish in a big pond seemed like just the tonic. To Dublin Phillips went, linking up with Terenure College. Having housed a number of transitioning professionals over the years, the club seemed well adept at integrating someone like Phillips into their playing squad.

Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Nick Elliott

However, life in the capital wasn’t the immediate fix he had hoped for. While the competitiveness at Terenure scratched a certain itch culminating in last year’s AIL Final at the Aviva Stadium, Phillips otherwise struggled to find where he should fit in for the rest of the week. He trialled a few job roles but ‘the chinos didn’t suit’ and his productivity fell through the floor.

“When I left Munster, I was still a boy. I’d never wanted for anything. My mother was always by my side and went above and beyond for me. School wasn’t an issue, I was sociable and because I was good at sport, I was well looked after in other ways too.

“Everyone always seemed to have an interest in me and so when I left Munster, I think I enjoyed being a bit anonymous. I didn’t eat well, went out at the weekends, I had no structure to my life. Even when I got a job, I wasn’t constructive. I was just waiting for the weekends.

“I’d always lived with my mother and had always been jealous of the lads who were out on their own two feet. They seemed to have so much freedom and could do what they wanted, whenever they wanted.

“It wasn’t long before I realised it it wasn’t all I’d made it out to be. I needed a change.”

Thanks to the support of his mother and the likes of Marcus Horan, Phillips hadn’t left Munster empty handed. Throughout his time with the province, he made his way through a level 8 degree course in Exercise and Health Fitness from UL, and those learnings are now paying dividends. 

“Man, I was so lucky to finish that the same year I finished up with Munster. Imagine walking by training with my laptop?” he says. “I mightn’t have appreciated it at the time but I’m so grateful to have that degree to my name. A special thanks to mam for that.

“Through my own experiences, to thrive in life you have to stay on top of your health and wellness. It has to become habitual. When I was stuck in bit of a rut there for a while, I got back to what I know and found myself in Dartry Health Club thanks to their partnership with Rugby Players Ireland. Some days I’d land in there almost without realising. Those habits and foundations got me back on track again.”

It also alerted Phillips to his true passion and he began to put the building blocks in place for CPZ Fitness, a new online personal training business which he launched during the summer.

“Look, I’m aware that having been a rugby player I’m privileged to be able to access a unique network, while it also might give me a bit of credibility because someone might have seen me in an Irish or Munster jersey before. But none of that gives me a right to run a business and expect it to be all plain sailing.

“If you want to succeed at anything, you have to invest in yourself first,” Phillips believes. “I think I went far too easy on myself for too long, so I put myself out there once I decided that I wanted to work in the health and fitness industry.

“The first thing I did was get a job at FlyeFit in Dundrum to gain some first-hand experience on the gym floor. It was surprisingly daunting and pushed me out of my comfort zone. I also engaged a mentor because while I could chat the hind legs off anyone, I didn’t have a business mind at all. I needed some structure.

“One of my mentor’s teachings was to focus in on my niche market, and so I looked at a consumer like myself – someone in their mid-20s with an active social life, and looking for a balanced lifestyle, one that lets them go to all the festivals and parties they want because they’ve created sustainable habits for the benefit of their wellbeing.”

While Phillips keeps an open mind about professional rugby opportunities that may arise into the future, for now he is focused on building out CPZ. His weeks are already filling up with clients who are chasing tailored programmes to meet their needs.

“I think it comes across through my work that health and fitness is a real passion of mine. I’m not there to solely deliver a personal training class, because health and fitness is about so much more than that. It’s about training the mind too.

“When I was playing for Munster I thought rugby was everything. I loved putting on that jersey. What I probably failed to appreciate is that it gave me so much more than 80 minutes on the field. It wasn’t always easy but it instilled great habits, had enormous health benefits, there was a clear structure to my day, and I was passionate about my work.

“It’s hard to find anything to replicate a career in professional rugby but I feel like I’m very close now. And this time, it’s all on my own terms.”

The boy who rolled over in bed, indifferent to the world outside, is long gone. Conor Phillips is back on track.

If you’re interested in learning more from Conor, follow @cpeezy on Instagram, where he shares workout tips, fitness insights, and a behind-the-scenes look at his journey.

To find out more about his offerings, DM with the word ‘TRAIN’ to get started!